So, it’s been awhile since I’ve written my last email or done my last video to send out and I’m not happy about that.
I got this advice from a friend several months back, sometime before the New Year. They said that they felt the videos I was sending out didn’t reflect the great work that I do with my clients. They also said that I should practice making more videos and not to put them out until it portrays me as the credible source that I am.
I thought the advice was wise, and I know that this person had my best interest at heart, and was making a good point; that I would lose people's attention and never get it back if the videos didn’t capture their attention and present me in the best light and as a credible source.
Bare with my story, I promise this will involve you really soon.
So that was during the holidays, where I found myself in a really contemplative and emotional time reflecting on all kinds of things.
Plus, I had my practice with my clients which requires a lot of physical and emotional energy, so needless to say, I wasn’t finding myself very motivated in practicing doing my videos or writing any emails, which as I said, I was not happy about.
You’re probably ready for me to make it about you now, right?
So that was a good five months ago since I’ve emailed you regarding anything going on within my practice, and today I thought, that sh!t’s got to end, and here’s what came to me as being really vital and important.
Momentum is a big key to accomplishing anything, let alone something that you’re not good at, or that brings up a lot of fears, insecurities and vulnerabilities.
For instance, and for those that don’t know, I’ve been practicing getting better at speaking on camera, on youtube videos as well as with larger intimate groups of people, and in sharing all kinds of great things that go on in my life and practice.
For you, you might have something in your life that you're working at getting better at, like I've been doing.
For instance: starting your own business, going to couples therapy to improve your marriage, coming to see me in my work to help you heal and navigate something within your life and health, get in better physical shape, learning how to do public speaking, learn a new language, you get the idea.
And like I said, you might be looking to create and do those kinds of things that bring up fear, insecurities, and make you feel very vulnerable too.
And momentum is a key ingredient to get you through the beginning, which can be the toughest part.
That’s when the noise starts to kick in.
You know, all that noisy commentary and resistance in your head that screams at you to stop this new behavior and habit at once.
Some of it might sound like this:
“Who am I kidding, I suck, this is sh!t”
“I’ll never lose weight and get into shape, I wasn’t born with good genes like other people”
“This is too difficult and painful, it would be easier if I just did XYZ ...”
That noise in our heads can get pretty loud; so much so, it often succeeds in causing us to quit.
And once momentum is lost, it’s very difficult to get back going again, which can be brutal.
So, going back to the advice that I received, that I should practice my videos more and not put them out ...
.. there’s the other side of that coin, and another piece of advice that I got which was ...
… “It’s really important to keep sharing and putting it out there if you’re going to get good at doing your videos; and you’re going to have to tweak them on the fly. And the only way you’re going to learn is to do them and post them and go through the process.”
And that advice was good as well - "continuing to do your "thing" and learning and adjusting on the fly."
I think a valuable lesson at this stage in my story is that there might be more than one piece of good advice that you'll receive just like I had, and that we might need to do what we feel is best considering all the advice given.
Actually both pieces of advice I received could easily be integrated together, where I didn’t have to choose to go with one.
Looking back, a good thing about this time period of not emailing, is that it allowed me to get really clear about how important it is for me to share more in general, utilizing all kinds of mediums of communication.
I also realized that getting clear about WHY you are doing something is really important, especially if it is going to be a very uncomfortable path to head out on.
Because when things get painful, mentally, emotionally, or physically, you’re going to need that WHY to help propel you to keep going.
And for me, I had to take a long hard look at WHY I wanted to do all of this.
And it’s still something that I’m refining and looking into.
Where I'm at now with WHY I want to share more, is because it’s challenging for me to do it on video and in front of groups.
I also like things that challenge me, and I want to get good at it to a point where it becomes more and more of a fun and entertaining thing for me to do.
… I’ve got lots of things to share that I think would really help people.
… speaking in front of a camera and being intimate in front of larger groups has never been something that I used to be good at or comfortable with – compared to who I am one-on-one, so it’s a personal growth thing for me to learn to take on.
Lastly, these skills will help me develop more creative things within my practice, like doing more group workshops and seminars.
So here’s a few things that I’ve been learning and working on since heading out on this journey with improving my communication skills on camera and in front of groups:
I’ve been working on and learning how to do it regularly whether I feel like it or not, in a good or bad mood, happy, sad or angry, have a lot to say or don’t feel like I have a lot to say.
I’ve also learned that when you commit to doing something like I have done, you should expect your “issues” noise and chatter in your head to get louder and bring up all kinds of things.
Actually, I was taught that when you commit to doing things like I have, you’re committing to bringing up all the emotional issues as well ..
.. and that a portion of why you commit to doing these things in the first place, is to heal something, and to bring up all the unresolved emotional issues that come with the new commitment and creative undertaking.
And so to conclude this email, find those people and create those structures that you can put into place that can help hold you accountable to keeping your momentum going with creating whatever it is that inspires you.
For those looking for a good book that talks a bit about what I was discussing and sharing about in this email, I’m currently reading, The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield.
I hope this email finds you growing, learning and enjoying the process.
Talk soon and be well,